Thinking Styles that Transform You Into a Relaxed Badass

Education & Career Trends: November 18, 2022

Curated by the Knowledge Team of  ICS Career GPS

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Content Credit:

• Article by Alex Mathers, published on betterhumans.pub. Original article link.

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It’s often thought that personality is something we are born with. An unchanging, concrete aspect of who we are. Some parts of the personality are tied to genes, yes. But 95% of the rest of who we are and how we behave are rooted in how and what we think.

And we can live an entirely different experience depending on how we choose to use our thoughts.

The following thinking styles or mantras can change your life for the better:

1. I am unaffected by all outcomes.

• One of the most attractive traits in a human is being OK with the outcome of things, regardless of what it is.
• They are outcome-independent.
• When we can keep calm when things aren’t going our way, this garners respect because it brings harmony to (and diffuses) the situation. It is not always easy to do.
• When we observe outcome independence as a daily habit, we find ourselves less stressed and more creative and respect ourselves more.

2. Other people can do and be what they want to do.

• If you want to be deeply stressed, try wishing other people did things differently.
• This is inherently frustrating when we face a situation we want to change but know we can’t.
• The solution? Realise it’s not on you to try to change anything or anyone.
• The best you can do is accept that others will do things you disagree with and focus on developing yourself as best you can.

3. I’m OK with who I am right now.

• Many of us go through life weighed down by insecurities.
• These self-criticisms arose from others’ judgements, and mainly our own.
• We bought into the significance of these assertions and perceived something to be ‘wrong’ with us.
• But criticism can’t ever be tied to the truth because, by its very nature, criticism or judgement is a fabricated, human-made meaning.

In the absence of created meaning, there simply IS.

• We simply are. We are OK. We aren’t good or bad. We’re just who we are.
• And in the void left by criticism, self-compassion becomes our default.
• To love who we are comes without effort or intervention.

4. I don’t need anything from anyone.

• Why would you need something from anyone in particular?
• Certainly, when it comes to psychological needs, no single other person has what we need.
• To experience love and admiration is nice, but we shouldn’t depend on this.
• If we do, our happiness is instantly at the mercy of the choices and behaviours of other people.
• Yes, sometimes other people have what we want, especially in the material sense. A bag of nails. A turnip. Some guidance.
• And if they don’t, we can relax and find them in the hands of the next person that comes along. No big deal.
• The same goes for needing anything else from any one person.

5. There is nothing anyone can say that I have a problem with.

• This is simply to emphasise the disconnect between the perceived meaning of someone’s words and your emotional state.
• Untold misery arises from the belief that the two need to unite.
• They don’t. What someone says is on them. They have their own subjective opinions.
• Whether they are ‘right’ or wrong needn’t bother you. You are not here to argue. You are simply witnessing the verbalised thoughts of other humans.
• Allow those thoughts to affect you, and you are not free.

6. I have everything I need to know in this moment.

• Many of us get nervous in anticipation of events that requires us to think on our feet (especially when the perceived stakes are high).
• For example, going for an interview or being invited to speak on a podcast.
• We want to succeed, but some of us lack faith in our ability to say the ‘right’ thing when we need to.
• So we get anxious. However, understand this one thing:
• We will know the words to say when we stop thinking we won’t know what to say.
• We do know. When we relax and let go of pressuring ourselves, we open channels connecting us to our true intelligence.
• To not get anxious about what to do or say is a form of faith, and it’s a powerful one.

Have faith that what you need will appear to you as you need it.

And it will often surprise you and those around you.

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Have you checked out yesterday’s blog yet?

Content Writing vs. Copywriting

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(Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in the article mentioned above are those of the author(s). They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of ICS Career GPS or its staff.)

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