Curated by the Knowledge Team of ICS Career GPS
Education
3 ways to teach your child about boundaries
Excerpts from article by Param Davies published in moms.com.
It can be a little tricky to teach your kid about boundaries as a figurative concept. Children, at a young age, might not understand boundaries apart from the literal definition. Teaching children about boundaries can be an essential part of ensuring a healthy childhood development. How they perceive the notion of boundaries might have a considerable impact on what kind of relationships they form with others now and in the future.
Here are some ways you can use to teach your child about boundaries.
1. Clarify the concept
Explain to them what boundaries mean. Since they already have an idea about physical boundaries, you can rely on that concept to teach about the figurative ones.
You can tell your kid that the boundaries we set with others are like an agreement between two parties to respect each other’s personal space. Thus, this is like a transaction between them and the others. If your child is clear and assertive about what kind of boundaries they want to set to define their personal space, then they can function more comfortably.
2. Show them how to maintain boundaries
You might want to show your kid that the other person will respect their boundaries only if they do the same in return. By setting an example yourself, you can familiarise yourself with the idea. If your kid expresses discomfort when you or another relative tries to hug or kiss them, you should respect that.
The idea of teaching kids about boundaries is to make them feel comfortable in their own space. Similarly, they have no right to encroach upon the personal space of another person.
3. Have frequent conversations
It can be beneficial to have an ongoing conversation about setting boundaries and considering others’ space. You might want to remind your child about limits so that it never skips their mind even when they are careless or forgetful of etiquette.
You can do this by making them read stories or watch movies where there is a conflict regarding personal space and boundaries. You can ask for their feedback on the issue after watching the movie or reading the book.
Kids can learn to wait for their turn and be attentive listeners to others; they shall receive a similar treatment in return. It is essential to help children understand that if they want to be treated fairly then, they should offer the same.
Not having the basic idea about boundaries can have detrimental effects on your child as they grow up. This might make them fall into dangerous situations where they get physically hurt, alienated, or touched inappropriately. Their knowledge about boundaries might not always help them control an unpleasant situation, but at least they can bring it to your notice immediately.
Career
5 strategies to smoothly handle a workplace confrontation
Excerpts from article by Corey Weiner published in fastcompany.com
Some situations at work urgently require a confrontation. Maybe it’s a gripe you have with your coworker, your boss, your neighbour, or even your spouse. But instead of confronting the problem, you ignore it. So, the problem festers and grows.
As the CEO of a growing company, I see confrontations as one of the most important ways to maintain positivity and productivity at work, and at home. Here are a few strategies for making your next confrontation have positive outcomes:
1. Don’t sugarcoat
One of the simplest ways to begin a confrontation is to acknowledge that it will be uncomfortable. It seems counterintuitive, since you would think keeping things as positive as possible would only help, but doing so actually hurts your chances of success. When you begin your conversation with compliments and kind words, the person on the other end winds up waiting for your inevitable but. Starting the conversation directly, without wrapping it in rosy prose, sets the scene for a more open dialogue about the problem at hand.
By preparing someone with the knowledge the conversation will be difficult, you tell the person what to expect and let them know you would like to address areas that are important to you.
2. Use ‘I,’ instead of ‘You’ or ‘We’
Putting someone on the defensive will only hurt the dialogue. When someone is in a defensive state, they are thinking solely of protecting themselves and deflecting shots in their direction. This state of mind is not conducive to active listening, which will make it impossible for your conversation to be successful. Instead, phrase everything you say with “I” and avoid needlessly incendiary language.
You should also avoid “we” statements. These types of statements imply you’re having conversations about the person behind their back. Keep your conversation between you and the other person, without referencing or scapegoating other individuals.
3. Stick to facts
The easiest mistake you can make in a confrontation is slipping from purely factual content to opinions derived from your emotions. Remember, emotions are not facts. Let’s say you’re upset with someone for being consistently late to a meeting. Stick to the facts, and you’ll find your confrontations going much more smoothly.
An important side note: If the person you are talking to disputes some of your facts, don’t get defensive yourself. Listen to them and be willing to accept that you may be wrong about one or more of the facts while still being correct about the issue at hand.
4. Control meeting hijacking
People are quite good at deflecting to avoid addressing issues head-on. Listen intently and don’t interrupt the person venting, but make sure to get back on track and take control of the conversation to ensure you get out of it what you need.
It’s worth noting that some confrontations get emotional. In the rare situation that someone gets very temperamental, angry, starts crying and/or lashes out, offer to reschedule the conversation for another date or time where the person can be calm and focused.
5. Keep in mind the relationship
The entire point of having a confrontation is to get to a better, more productive place in your relationship with the person. Be clear about what bothers you, what your expectations are for the future, and let the person respond and commit to what you’re looking for.
Navigating confrontations successfully is an art form. The amazing thing about them, however, is if you use these tools and techniques, you will be more consistently happy, positive, and productive in and outside of work.
(Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in the article mentioned above are those of the author(s). They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of ICS Career GPS or its staff.)
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